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  • Writer's pictureTeena Marie


I could write about something light and fluffy. A topic that is filled with pink air or say how Jesus loves us so much and everything will be alright. But it’s not. A lot of us are hurting and a lot of us put on a brave face because that is the only thing we know to do. We are unhappy despite going to church, despite what we tell ourselves on the way to work every morning. Fear and unhappiness goes hand in hand because in order to be happy we have to face uncertainty, we have to face change, we have to face ourselves and be comfortable with not giving a fuck about what other people think. Figuring out a path to happiness and actually executing it, is ballsy. Genuine happiness is true freedom.

Most of us are scared and don’t like change. We would rather settle and go through the motions because we feel there is no way out or the way out is a glass ceiling. We would rather act like we are in a constant state of survival, eat to live, sleep to stay alive, work to make money. We are so trapped in the day to day that we don’t even know ourselves. Do we even know what makes us happy?

In my psychology courses in college, we learned that a part of human development and in order to reach self-actualization we have to first feel safe, secure, and warm. We have to meet our basic needs in order to go to the next level. Let me tell you, the basic needs are a struggle to maintain, so I know most people aren’t thinking about what true happiness is. A short term goal of surviving each day is enough. This is sad.

Who is to blame? US. What we let happen to us is what we allow people to do. If we did not accept it, it would not happen. We let others tell us what to do and mind fuck us into thinking that true happiness is working 80 hours a week and not being with your family is a good thing….for example. Or marrying someone you have a child with will naturally make you happy.

Don’t let others define your happiness. We are responsible for our own. Should we continue circling around the block or venture out and take risks? I am speaking to myself on this one, too.

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